id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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