Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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