We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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