you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
