I like my sex mixed with concussions.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Holy shit dude........stairs
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
