In the future we'll all be gay
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
