i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
