And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
