READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
