Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
