I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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