i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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