when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
