i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
