All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
