I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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