She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
