he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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