I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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