Already got asked if we're dating
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
