i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Randomize
