ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
