At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
