I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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