Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
