Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Acid is not a monday night drug
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
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