you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
