So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
