my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
