I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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