Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
We're too hungover to prance.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
You don't make any sense
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