After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
