hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
