Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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