Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
