So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
