Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
