My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
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