Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
