So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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