I just made out with a guy for $7.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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