Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize
