At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
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