I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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