I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
she told me i tasted like america
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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