if i can run in heels then i can drive
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
