I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
