I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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