So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Randomize
