Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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